1. TALK. Always in pleasant tones. No shouting or swearing at each other. Speak only positive words with gentleness and kindness. Communicate daily. This is the highest and most caring form of love.

2.   WALK TOGETHER more. Take 30 minutes a day. To exercise, communicate, release emotions, share ideas, goals, and to clear up any misunderstandings. It’s okay to hold hands, too!

3. Do NEW and DIFFERENT ACTIVITIES together. Enjoy a new restaurant, a different dish, a concert, a unique vacation, attend a class together something exciting both of you can plan and look forward to. Learn together and you’ll be happier.

4. Give each other GIFTS often. Like a magazine subscription, a special book, a warm bath and massage, flowers, surprise experiences, favorite foods, and the many other special things your mate would enjoy and get excited about.

5. Write LOVE NOTES. Hide them around the home — in clothing, pockets, in the kitchen drawer and secret places. Send some to his or her working place. Write a passionate love letter. Express your love in writing on exquisite stationery. Attach a gift certificate or a crispy $100 bill. Use your imagination and make it a fun surprise. And do it often!

6. DO NOT CRITICIZE, CONDEMN or COMPLAIN! This is a NO-NO. Only praises. Acknowledge the goodness in each other. There is no place for negativity in a loving and lasting relationship ever! Your mate will do the right thing — as you lead by example.

7. ACHIEVE and MAINTAIN your IDEAL figure. It is a gift to yourself and your mate. A healthy and attractive body also promotes a healthy relationship.

8. Allow your partner to be RESPONSIBLE for his or her life. He or she has the right to determine his or her own reality and destiny. Always respect that choice. Both of you can live your lives in your own way harmoniously. Treasure each other’s differences. Do your very best >to make life easier and more fun for your mate.

9. Grow TOGETHER. At the same speed and direction — by sharing similar ideas and activities. This will bond you together even more while building on fond memories. (People who don’t grow together will complete their relationship and move on to lead separate lives. This is why most people divorce.

10. DO NOT be POSSESSIVE. Don’t act as though you “own” your mate. Support, encourage each other’s way of living and individual interests. Be grateful in harmony.

11. TREASURE your TIME together. It could be your last. Look at it this way and you’ll always appreciate each other even more. Have NO reason for regrets. Spend time with each other doing all the things you both love to do. Do it now! Tomorrow may not come. So together-plan now for the best of the rest of your lives.

12. IT is OKAY to DO whatever pleases BOTH of you. In private, there are no limits on what you can do together with each other…as long as both benefit and agree. Whatever other people think of what you do or say is none of your business! So, go ahead experiment — and satisfy each other to the limit!

13. Be OPEN. To new ideas, experiences, and relationships. This is the way for fun, growth and expansion in your lives. The more you LEARN together…the happier you both will be.

14. FORGIVE and LOVE. Release the past at every moment. Live in the present. Plan for the future together…and joyously!

15. Be FREE of resentments, anger, jealousy, hatred, and envy toward each other. This will open both of you to even greater respect for each other. Be thankful for your mate’s kindness.

16. Eliminate arguing totally. Anywhere, anytime. Especially while eating or in bed. Each person has a right to his or her own opinion. Respect each others ideas, philosophy, and outlook on life. Be a great listener!

17. SMILE and LAUGH with each other. A prescription for aliveness and health. Don’t take yourself or your mate too seriously. Lighten up and laugh more often. Remember, your smiles are true gifts to each other.

18. Look into each other’s EYES often. See the love, truth, and beauty in your mate. The more you look into each other’s eyes lovingly, the more you will love each other more deeply! Do this daily. It’s very powerful and fun!

19. TOUCH each other TENDERLY every day. Hug. Kiss. Caress. These are wonderful ways to show caring and love. We ALL need it. More than we care to admit!

20. Develop a HEALTHY LIFESTYLE. Good food promotes a healthier state of mind for a more meaningful relationship. Eat lots of fruits, vegetables, whole wheat, grains, hi-fiber, low-fat, low-calorie foods. Drink more water. Get more rest. Keep yourself cleansed, nourished, and balanced.

21. Keep your home, car, kitchen, closets, rooms — simple, neat, clean and organized. This will help promote a tranquil setting for greater peace and happiness in your lives. It really works! Begin this today!

22. Dress your best. Be appropriate, neat, clean, and proud of your appearance. How you look, especially in public — enhances your mate’s choice and appearance, too!

23. SHARE in Financial Matters. If you are married, communicate with each other on all your finances. If you have a family business, be sure both are informed on profits, losses, expenses, etc. Set your financial priorities together. This will help to strengthen your relationship which is built on trust and sharing. Enjoy building your financial future together. This is important.

24. ACCEPT each other TOTALLY. Exactly the way both of you are. Do not try to change each other’s uniqueness. Allow your mate to change if and when he or she desires. This promotes everlasting peace.

24. Say: “I LOVE YOU”. Daily, many times. Especially when you wake up and before you go to sleep. Say it for the rest of your lives together. Never ever take love for granted. Express it verbally as well as with action. We all need to hear that magical phrase. It reaffirms how we feel at that moment.

So, fill your lives with millions of moments of love by saying: “I love you.”

Article taken from •The LoveCareShare Blog•

Healthy relationship survival guide to relieving tension

Healthy relationship survival guide to relieving tension, including communication, overcoming boredom by having fun as a couple, and dealing with more difficult issues.

If you can see storm clouds brewing on the horizon of your relationship, it might be time to take action - BEFORE that storm breaks. Maybe you have an unresolved issue which keeps popping up again and again Perhaps one of your prefers to brood about the hard questions, instead of talking about them.

But talk you must - it's the only way to make your relationship strong enough to weather the storms which are just a part of the changing seasons of every partnership. Make a date to talk. It's imperative to choose a specific time to sit down with your partner and confront the problem, which is plaguing your relationship. Although bringing the issue out into the light can be scary, this stage must be gone through before you can reach any kind of satisfactory resolution.

If you think about it, the consequences of NOT talking about it are even scarier. Rising levels of resentment left to fester away can be the source of intense short-term stress, and are highly likely to lead to a major argument further down the track.

So find some neutral ground on which to meet and discuss the problematic issue. It's a good idea if you can both agree at the outset that you will be working towards a common goal. Remind yourself and your partner periodically during the discussion that you’re both looking for the same thing: a harmonious solution to a problem that has

been clouding over the skies of your relationship.

If you think you might get overly emotional or angry and lose track of the points you want to make during the discussion, note them down briefly, and take along your list to the meeting. If the discussion is getting off track

or onto other unrelated topics, use the list to keep you focused and to remember that the objective here is to find a solution to your problem. You can discuss the other issues at a later date – it’s a good idea to try and solve only one problem at a time.

What if the source of tension between you is boredom? If one or both of you feel like you're in a relationship rut, it's all too easy to start taking it out on each other. Little quarrels about nothing, and bickering over the tiniest, most insignificant details could be a warning sign that the relationship needs help - and fast.

Luckily, this kind of relationship tension is the most fun to address. The remedy is to find ways of reconnecting with your partner, and rediscovering the person you fell in love with in the first place. Has it been months - even years - since you've gone away together for the weekend? When was the last time you went to see your favorite comedian perform live? Any activity that make you laugh or shout out loud (in joy, not anger!) will act as shock-therapy and jolt you out of your tedious routine.

What if the source of tension is lack of trust? If one of you has done something which has shaken or even destroyed the foundation of trust at the base of the relationship, remedial action must be taken as soon as

possible. If left unaddressed, this is one problem guaranteed to get worse. No meaningful relationship can be conducted without that secure foundation of trust being in place.

Once again, communication is the key. Don’t try to pretend that everything's OK when it's not. Bring the issue out into the open, and resolve to try and fix the problem once and for all, as a partnership - starting right now. Tears and shouting are never fun, but they may be necessary to the healing process.

The seriousness of this relationship problem requires more than just healing words, however. Regardless of who committed the relationship "crime", you must both agree that getting the partnership back on the right track is the top priority. You’ll need to back up your promises to try to trust each other again with your actions.

Sincere romantic gestures in any shape or form are a good start. Flowers or little gifts chosen with care will all help. A more pragmatic approach can also work miracles: make a statement that you are in this relationship for the long haul: put down a large payment on your partner's credit card, or pay one of their bills. Think of it as a down payment on your future.

As you can see, unresolved tension must be cleared if a relationship is not only going to survive, but go from strength to strength. It can be a challenge to face up to those storm clouds which have been building up on the horizon, but think about the benefits of a successful outcome – when there is nothing but blue skies ahead in the future of your relationship.

Written by Elizabeth Hardy - © 2002 Pagewise

Article taken from •Essortment•

Relationship survival guide: hanging onto your identity

Relationship survival guide essentials, hanging onto your identity even when your relationship with your partner seems to be a power struggle.

Sometimes a relationship starts to feel like nothing but a power struggle. If you're involved with a dominating personality, and you've had a lifetime of conditioning to please your partner, it can be difficult to hang onto your own identity AND have a relationship. But it doesn't have to come down to a choice between staying in the relationship and losing your identity, or ending the relationship and rediscovering whom you are. Here's how to discover and assert your own demands within the paradigms of your existing relationship.

What do you really want?

Have you thought about what you really want lately? From your job, from yourself, from your partner? From life itself? Maybe your desires are not grandiose - perhaps an hour to yourself twice a week to read a novel is what you're missing. But what if you want to work longer hours and go for a promotion, but your partner is unsupportive?

The first step in asserting your identity within a relationship is to catalog exactly what it is you want to achieve within it. Write down your short and long term goals. Be specific and don't restrict yourself to what seems possible. In ten years, you could be a millionaire, so note down everything you want from your life, and from your relationship.

Ask you partner to do the same, and set aside some time to compare and discuss your lists. Chances are you've never actually sat down and quantified exactly what you want - to yourself, and certainly not to your partner. This can be a really illuminating exercise. If you communicate carefully and gently with each other about your lists of goals and desires, you can learn an enormous amount about one another, and thrash out how you are going to fit your goals together so that they are not only compatible but achievable.

Do you mean no when you say yes?

Once you're clear on what you want from the relationship, and from other aspects of your life, it will become easer to say no to things that are not going to move you towards your chosen path. So often, one partner falls into the habit of humoring the other, and agreeing to their requests because it's simply easier than making waves or having constant arguments.

But now, with your new understanding of what you're trying to accomplish, you may discover that you don't want to go to the game on Saturday. You may decide that you need to hire someone to help around the house so that you have some time free to attend the art class you have dreamed of going to for 10 years. In the process, you may find that it's not that difficult to say no when the result is a stronger sense of identity and purpose.

Learning to say no can be the most rewarding thing in the world. You may not even realize that you've been bending to the wishes of everyone else for as long as you can remember. After you've gotten over the shock of asserting your OWN desires, you'll find that it's exhilarating to be back in control of your time and to have strong input into the direction of your life.

Keeping track of your progress.

Now may be the time to start keeping a journal. Keep track of your goals here, and also your progress towards them. If you've been meaning to go back to college for the last five years, write down a plan in stages, and then tick off each stage as you complete it.

Or make notes on the specific changes you'd like to implement in your kitchen or study, and let yourself see how you are progressing towards completion of your goal.

Talk to your partner about your progress and enquire about how he's doing as he moves towards his own goals. This will help to reinforce the message that you have dreams as individuals and as a partnership, and that both kinds must be supported by each of you.

As you begin to discover what you want from life, and the stages you will have to move through to get it, you will be able to flourish in even the most demanding relationship. Your identity will continue to be strengthened as you ask for what you want, and successfully negotiate your way towards a more equal power dynamic within your relationship.

Written by Elizabeth Hardy - © 2002 Pagewise

Article taken from •Essortment•

3 Ways To Save A Relationship

You are at a crossroads in your relationship, and right now, your better half wants to go one way and you want to take the other direction. Already, the friction and strain of your separateness is showing visible signs: the constant arguing, the deafening silences, the loss of intimacy, among many others.

The only ray of hope here is that both of you are willing to give your relationship one more chance; that both of you believe that this union, despite the odds, is really worth saving. If both of you have come to that conclusion, you have just taken your first step in saving your relationship.

1. Believing That There Is Hope

A relationship will not work if all you can see are the words irreconcilable differences whenever you see your partner. True, there are hard times ahead and nothing will ever be the same again, no matter how hard you try. But if both sides of the party are willing to believe that there is still hope of salvaging this relationship, then there probably is.

Hope can be a very powerful tool because it drives both parties into reconciliatory moods. Old hurts are temporarily forgotten for the sake of harmony, and both are more accommodating to the needs and wants of the other.

2. Listen.

Often, arguments and fights erupt due to a failure in communication. You have your grievances, but you must always remember that your companion has grievances as well. If you can sit down and talk to each other like civilized human beings, then your communication should be crystal clear. Instead of defending your every stance against your partner, ask him or her questions as to why they want it that way. Even couples that have been married for a time still discover nuggets of information about each other that they never knew before.

Listening means your mind is open. Don't pretend to listen only so you can advance your arguments and hope that your partner will understand your point of view. Listening entails diplomacy, tempering of your anger and knowing when it is best not to speak.

3. Show Affection

If you can, give out a word of praise; that is one of the usual advices given to quarreling couples. Instead of criticizing your partner, you praise them for a job well done.

This is easier said than done. Indubitably, some people find giving praises to their partners rather awkward - especially if this has not been a regular habit of both parties. Sometimes, some couples may even become hostile towards the other thinking that a well-meaning praise is sugarcoating sarcasm.

You might be surprised how a simple touch can heal many, many wounds. Showing affection to your partner need not always lead to the bedchambers. And you need not even have to explain to the other party what you are doing or what you have just done, because no words are ever needed if you show someone you still care.

If your partner is hard at work at the garage, a simple tap or rub on the back will do. If you are watching TV, squeeze his or her hand gently, once or twice and then let go. If your partner is slaving away in the kitchen, a gentle hug from behind, ever so briefly, ever so sweetly will be much, much appreciated.

Smiles can work wonders too. A simple smile in the morning to greet the day is better than a sour face. Let's face it, whoever wants to wake up to that? Or, if you are not really the morning person, how about greeting your partner home with a smile that says, "I'm glad I'm home, and I'm glad you're here."

Article Taken from •HubPages•

When you notice the incipient stirrings of breakups and you know that the day he or she'll say "it's over" is imminent, it's imperative that you take action now and save your relationship from an unwanted end.

1. Find out what's the problem.

This is the best and unfortunately also the hardest way to stop a breakup. If you know what the problem is then all you have to do is find a way to fix it. You can ask him directly or indirectly what the problem is. The best approach depends on your partner's personality and the kind of relationship you share. If you don't think this would work then try observing things more keenly. Pay attention even to the smallest things your partner is doing. Learn how to read between the lines. Rather than just hearing the words that your partner is saying, listen to the emotions behind it as well. Be more sensitive!

2. Spend more time with your partner.

Perhaps your partner is suffering from neglect and that's why he wants to break up with you. Perhaps you don't understand what your partner is going through and the absence of connection makes him want to end things between you two. If you spend more time with your partner, it's easier to find out what's troubling him and making him want to break up with you.

If emotional neglect is the problem then you should learn how to manage your time properly and show your partner that he is one of your most important priorities in life. Time is a precious commodity and it's a pity that time is also the one many people can't manage effectively.

3. Open communication lines between you and your partner.

When was the last time you really talked with your partner? When was the last time you talked about your relationship, where it's going and what your goals are for your relationship to become stronger and better?

Life, or more specifically, making a living, has a way of making you forget everything else. Sometimes, you end up being too busy that you no longer have the time to share your feelings with each other. It's not enough that you show your partner you care through your actions. If you think him every minute of the day, that's good - but have you told him that? Don't assume that your partner can read your mind just because you've been together for a long time already. Sometimes, words are just as or more important than actions.

4. Ask for outside help.

Sometimes, your partner may be unwilling to confide in you for whatever reason. If this is the case, don't jump into the worst conclusions right away. Consider asking for outside help. Seek the persons closest to your partner and ask for their opinion. There are times that a person finds it easier to confide in a stranger or someone who's not involved because there's less chance of hurting and being hurt.

You might see this as an act that lowers your pride but why think that if it's what's going to prevent you and your partner from breaking up?

Of course, all these tips won't do you any good if your partner no longer loves you. In such cases, the only thing you can do is move on and believe that there's someone better for you out there.

Article Taken from •HubPages•

Please check out these articles for additional ideas on how to keep a good thing going:

•Relationship Survival Blog•
•Easy Ways to a Wonderful Relationship•
•The WikiHow version of How to Have a Healthy Relationship•